Knowing Yourself

Knowing yourself includes being aware of your values, who influences you, past patterns of behavior, and what inspires you. When you think about your future, how often do you think about your past or your present?  Paying attention to where you are now and where you came from can help guide you on your path forward.

Have you ever wondered… What do I truly value? Why do I value this and not that? How am I making decisions?  What influences me? What bores or excites me? Who am I when I’m performing at my best?  If you have, congratulations on being a thoughtful and introspective human being!  If you have not, read on…

When I was working in corporate America, my head was down, grinding, running on the never-ending hamster wheel.  I never prioritized myself.  My time was promised to others – my boss, my family, my household obligations.  Maybe I liked not having to think about me.  Maybe I appreciated the distraction of daily life and not having to truly think about who I am and how I was spending my time and ultimately my life.  That all changed when I didn’t have that corporate job anymore…it forced me to get real about myself, who I am, and what I value, and I started dreaming about how to get more of THAT in my life.

I think many of us in our daily hustle and bustle don’t take the time to think about what we value, yet it can unlock so much of who we truly are and catapult us to where we truly want to be.

When you do start to contemplate who you are and what you value, you may start to think about the people who are important in your life, especially those from your past.  You might identify a few of your relatives and family members with whom you have characteristics in common.  You might start to recognize behaviors and quirks from a parent or other relative and celebrate “That’s where I got that!” and there may be others that you’d rather not admit to. But it all helps tell the story of you!

It doesn’t have to be only relatives that you see in yourself.  It can be a coach, a friend, a boss, a colleague, or all of the above.  What was it about them and your relationship that shaped you?  How has their influence shown up in your life?  What elements of those individuals do you strive to bring to others?  What characteristics do you see that you actively avoid?

I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by a pretty awesome family, amazing and supportive colleagues, brilliant coaches, and wonderfully patient friends.  When I think about those individuals and their influences on me and my life I feel gratitude.  Have the people in my life all been wonderful?  No, and I don’t think that is possible.  Is it important to think about those less favorable characteristics?  Yes!  How else will you be able to recognize unsavory behaviors and characteristics in yourself so that you can continue to grow and evolve into the person you were meant to be?

Knowing yourself and how you were influenced and by whom can be a tremendous gift you give yourself and others.  Simply put, knowing yourself can provide the clarity you need to move forward.

When you think about your life, what are the patterns that you notice?  How often do you change jobs or move house?  Who are the types of people that you get along with best that you gravitate toward? What types of environments are you in when you are performing at your best or at your worst?  What time of day, week or year do you feel the most or the least productive or happy?

Once you have reflected and discovered these patterns, you can dig deeper to discover the “Why” behind the pattern.  Ask yourself, “Why do I change jobs every 2 years?”  “Why do I surround myself with these type A people and avoid the type Bs?”  “What is it about this environment that causes me to feel so great while another makes me feel crappy?”  Why is it that I produce more results or feel more joy in the winter than in the summer?”

You likely have patterns that are very helpful in making the right decisions while others are not.  Knowing your patterns can help you stay ahead of decisions and avoid those that aren’t leading you in the right direction.

When it comes down to it, life is short.  Am I right?  In the blink of an eye, your career has passed its peak and you begin to take steps to settle into the kind of work you love versus the kind that may bring you the biggest paycheck.  Your kids are grown, and you have more time for yourself.  Many of your dreams have become reality and it’s time for new dreams.

If this resonates with you, it might be time to take stock in what inspires you!  Who do you need in your life right now?  How do you want to spend your time?  What type of support do you need to make your dreams into reality?  What kind of environment do you wish to be in?

There is no “perfect time” to make a change toward inspiration.  There will always be patterns, habits, excuses, inertia, or all of the above that make it difficult for us to move forward.  Sometimes life happens to us and we have to deal with it in the moment, but many times (and I would argue more often than not) we have more control than we realize.  Are you being realistic about the risks of continuing your path versus making change toward a more inspired one?  How it might feel to jump out of bed looking forward to each day versus doing what you’ve always done?  What is the worst thing that can happen if you make a change….or the worst thing that can happen if you don’t?  What might it feel like to truly be inspired by your life?

That sounds pretty good, right?  But how do you make that happen for yourself?  Here are a few steps you could take:

• Breathe. Be in the moment. Put your brain on pause for a few deep breaths.
• Find gratitude . Your gratitude does not have to be something big.  Are you grateful for the air in your lungs?  The sun in the sky?  Food on your table?  Love in your life?
• Identify where you are right now. What does it feel like?  What does it sound like?  What does it look like?
• Name what you truly value. How often are you living those values?  Could you make a change that helps you live them more?  What is getting in your way?
• Identify where you want to be. What does it feel like?  What does it sound like?  What does it look like?

Once you have taken these steps, decide how far away you are from where you want to be.  Do you already have some of it?  How much?  What is missing?  What would need to change to get closer?  Do you believe it’s possible to get to that life?  What would make it possible?

If knowing yourself feels like a path you want to be on, but it is too daunting to do on your own, a coach can help.  Reach out for a 30-minute consultation and see if a professional coach can help you live the life you desire!

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